


you belong with me!

by smartlove



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 00 line and 99 line are besties, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming of Age, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, You Belong With Me AU, jaemin is brunette taylor, jeno is blonde taylor, markno endgame, minor markmin, side ships: renyang and nahyuck, so much renyang!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22584148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartlove/pseuds/smartlove
Summary: He stares at the blank paper for a while and it’s like his hand moves on it’s own accord, writing out the wordsI love you,his heart thrashing violently against his ribcage with each word written. The bold black words stared up at him, etching itself into his brain. He was sure about it. He’s in love with Mark Lee. How could he not be? When Mark had so easily fit himself back into Jeno’s life.Being with Mark was just so natural. It felt right.He looks up to show Mark his message only to find the curtains drawn closed, the lights in the other boy’s room turned off. Jeno sighs, staring back at his hopelessly bold declaration of love. Maybe it was for the best.Loosely based off Taylor Swifts you belong with me music video
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Mark Lee
Comments: 24
Kudos: 199





	you belong with me!

**Author's Note:**

> [me, waking up in a cold sweat] MARKNO YOU BELONG WITH ME AU
> 
> this fic is my baby!! it was not supposed to be this long but here we are! i hope you all enjoy 15k of markno being pining idiots.
> 
> much love to athen for holding my hand while i was writing this <3 
> 
> before we start here r the songs i had on repeat while writing this to convey the mood:
> 
> _you belong with me; taylor swift (obviously, i watched the mv like a million times)_  
>  _clemetine; halsey_  
>  _sunflower vol.6; harry styles_

The evening was quiet, soft music filling the silence of the room as Jeno doodled around the border of his biology textbook. He was humming lightly, colouring in the diagrams and ignoring the actual content. He detested biology with a passion. His room was a furnace and Jeno was cooking in the heat despite being in only a tank top. The pathetic breeze that flew in through the open window did little to cool him down. Overall the night was serene, nice-

“You’re a fucking asshole Mark,” Yells the shrill and undeniable voice of Jaemin Na through Jeno’s open window. 

He groans as Jaemin’s voice grows fiercer and louder, slamming his pen down in frustration and and rising from his desk chair to shut the window. He would much rather die of heatstroke then hear another minute of the fight going down at his neighbour’s house. He moves to close his window when he catches sight of the scene, just metres away from his own bedroom was the bedroom of Mark Lee, his neighbour, having a full blown screaming match with his boyfriend. 

Jeno watches with curiosity more than anything else. This wasn’t the first night they had fought so loudly that it rang in Jeno’s ears and he was sure it wouldn’t be the last. 

“Jaemin, I’m sorry just please hear me out, it won’t do either of us any good if you storm out.” Mark pleads with the other boy as he angrily pulls his jean jacket back on. 

“Save it,” Jaemin replies, holding his hand out to stop Mark from moving closer. “We’re both angry and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.” 

“Jaemin-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says curtly before slamming the door of the room shut on his way out. Jeno winces. He closes his window quickly before he gets caught for eavesdropping, watching as Mark collapses onto his desk chair with his head in his hands. Maybe Jeno should just go back to his homework and pretend he didn’t see or hear anything. Just as he was about to close the curtains, Mark looks up, making eye contact with Jeno through their windows. 

Well, shit.

He gives Mark what he can only hope was an apologetic smile. The other boy scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, he stands up and walks to the edge of his window sill. He pulls out a pad of paper from his desk and writes something down, turning it around to show Jeno.

_ ‘Sorry about that, were we bothering you?’  _ It reads. 

Jeno smiles, grabbing his own pad from under the windowsill. This was a tradition he and Mark started when they were kids, but rarely did anymore. He writes down his response with a black sharpie. 

‘ _ Nah you weren’t, are you okay?’  _

_ ‘Just… usual Jaemin stuff.’  _ Came his response.

Jeno rips out the page, writing on a fresh piece of paper.

_ ‘Do you wanna talk about it?’  _

Instead of writing something back Mark points at his phone, a few seconds later Jeno’s own phone rings. He answers it without checking the caller id. 

“You know calling me defeats the whole purpose of the pads.” Jeno says instead of a greeting. 

He watches Mark laugh from his window and hears it flow into his ears through the phone. 

“Those were for when we were twelve and our parents didn’t let us have phones, we’re in the digital age now Jeno Lee.” He replies cooly. Jeno closes his eyes, allowing himself to feel nothing but Mark’s voice, he hadn’t sounded this light and happy in a while. 

“Do you wanna tell me what happened with you and Jaemin?” Jeno asks, opening his eyes to find Mark staring right back at him. He moves closer to the window sill and Mark does the same until they were both sitting comfortably on the ledge, watching each other.

Mark sighs. “I don’t know when everything got so fucked up.” He says, leaning his head against the glass and shutting his eyes. “We used to be so good together and now we’re just fighting all the time. I’m afraid he’s-” He cuts himself off, swallowing thickly, “I’m afraid he’s fallen out of love.” He finishes with a whisper. 

Jeno’s heart sinks for how broken Mark sounds. Since the beginning of high school it had always been Mark and Jaemin. The power couple of the school, co-captains of the basketball team, he could only imagine how heartbroken Mark was feeling. 

“And you?” Jeno asks back. 

Mark opens his eyes again, and Jeno wishes he didn’t. He looks shattered, his eyes filling with tears. 

“I don’t know.” He whispers, expression terrified.

_Why oh why_ did Jeno offer to talk with Mark about his boy problems, he has been told many times (mostly by Yangyang) that he was horrible at giving advice.

He just couldn’t stand to see Mark Lee unhappy. 

“Maybe you should talk to Jaemin about it?” Jeno offers, “When you’ve both calmed down. Give it a few days so you know what you’re going to say.” 

Mark nods, wiping his eyes. “Yeah you’re right, I think we both need some time.” 

“It’s late.” Jeno says, unsure of how long he could keep up talking to Mark Lee about  _ feelings. _ “I have homework to finish and you look like you need some rest.” 

“Oh uh, yeah,” Mark says, eyes widening as he looks at his clock, “Goodnight Jeno.”

“Goodnight Mark.”

It was later that night, after Jeno had finished his calculus problem set, that he allowed himself to think about his conversation with Mark. As he usually reserved his Mark thoughts to the deepest hours of the night when he’s sure there are no mind readers around. Mark Lee who he has known since elementary school. Who used to be short and chubby and had once hit Jeno in the face with a basketball and cried more than he did. Mark Lee who was Jeno’s best friend in middle school when he was awkward and clumsy and his limbs were too long for his body. Who bleached the ends of his hair because Jeno convinced him he’d look cool with frosted tips (he didn’t). The same Mark Lee that Jeno barely spoke to now, despite being neighbours, despite once being so close. Until tonight their interactions were limited to awkward small talk when Jeno would sneak out through his window in the middle of the night and find Mark staring at him wide eyed, doing the same thing. 

Despite all of this, Jeno to this day, harbours a big fat stupid crush on Mark Lee. 

As he drifts off to sleep he thinks about what this new interaction could mean for him and Mark. If anything between them would change, or if Mark would pretend that nothing happened and go back to just smiling at Jeno when they passed each other in the hallways. 

***

Jeno wakes up to a soft warmth pressing against his chest and something furry tickling his nose. He opens his eyes to see his cat’s fur covering his vision. He shifts slightly, causing the calico to perk up and rub her face against his. 

“Good morning Luna,” He croaks out, “You’re not allowed in here.” He pushes her off his chest so he can sit up. His throat immediately becomes scratchy and he sneezes loudly, startling Luna into jumping off his bed. 

He checks his phone, notifications popping up mostly from group chats and his friends, his eyes widened at the latest one, which seemingly shone brighter than the rest of them.

**Mark Lee** _ : hey do you wanna walk to school together? _

“Holy shit.” Jeno says, “Holy shit holy shit holy shit.”

He types out a quick response and turns to Luna, who was now watching him carefully by his doorframe.

“Mark wants to walk me to school!”

Jeno skids to and from his bathroom, toothbrush in his mouth while he tries to find decent clothes to wear. He has never cared about what he wore to school before but maybe it was time to start trying. After throwing on his best leather jacket and shovelling down the cold breakfast his mom made for him before she left for work, he wrenches his front door open to find Mark already there, drowned in a light blue hoodie and leaning against Jeno’s front porch. 

“No ride from Jaemin today?” Jeno asks, immediately regretting it from the way Mark’s face drops

“Nope,” Mark says chuckling awkwardly, “He’s kind of been ignoring me since last night.”

Jeno frowns, “I’m sorry to hear it,” He says, leading the way to the street, ‘I hope you remember the way to school.”

Mark catches up with him, shoving him by the shoulder slightly, “It hasn’t been  _ that  _ long Jen.” He says, catching Jeno off guard with the nickname. 

He watches Mark as he struggles to untangle his earphones. A lot has changed but he was still the same, awkward, fumbling Mark. He grabs the earphones from Mark’s hands and untangles it for him. 

“You wouldn’t have this problem if you had airpods.” Jeno says, handing them back to him. 

He scoffs in response, plugging them into his phone and putting an ear bud into his ear, he offers the other one to Jeno, which he takes graciously. 

“Sorry I don’t succumb to capitalism.” He says.

Jeno rolls his eyes, “You do know that Android is also part of a multi billion dollar company right? It’s important to me that you know that.” 

“Okay whatever Jen,” Mark huffs out, like he usually no does when he was losing an argument, “Do you want my music or not?”

Jeno laughs at him while he opens up his spotify still grumbling. He plays a song from a playlist titled  _ sick tunez  _ and Jeno recognises the beat instantly.

“Holy shit I love this song,” Jeno exclaims a little too loudly, “This dude’s stuff is awesome.”

Mark brightens with delight, “Right? It’s crazy that he started out on soundcloud.”

“For sure,” Jeno says. Mark moves a few inches closer to him as they walk. Jeno pulls away in surprise causing Mark’s earphone to fall out, he scowls at Jeno. 

“This won’t work unless you’re right next to me.” He tells him, pulling Jeno right up to his side and linking their hands together. Jeno has a hard time stamping out the flames growing across his face. He gives a silent prayer to the clouds that Mark doesn’t notice. 

They walked like that the rest of the way to school. Mark would show Jeno his favourite songs and Jeno in return would either love it or make fun of his music taste. They caught up with everything they missed about each other, Mark talks about how he started going to guitar lessons, that the guys on his team dared him to dye his hair green once and his mom grounded him for a month and that he was still obsessed with the same comic series since eighth grade. Jeno, in turn, talks about how Luna followed him home from school one day and never left, about his plans of leading the mathletes into finals this year and the gruelling level of a new video game that he was struggling to finish. It reminds Jeno of how easy it was to be with Mark. 

When they reach the school gates Jeno’s cheeks are sore from smiling. Mark smiles back at him as he unhooks their arms and puts his phone back into his pocket. He sticks his thumb out towards his friends, who were scattered underneath an oak tree in the parking lot. Jeno could pick them out of a lineup, the most infamous in school. Lucas Wong, captain of the water polo team and sweetest guy in the world. Donghyuck Lee, theatre kid who was always the lead in every play and somehow knew everything about everyone. Dejun Xiao, certified school heart throb, he always got the most gifts and Valentine's Day and was rejecting confessions every other week. Kunghang Wong, highest GPA in school, set out to be valedictorian and undoubtedly smoking weed behind the tree. The only person missing from the group was Jaemin. Jeno always heard mixed reviews about Jaemin, people would either say he was the kindest soul they’d ever met or that he was the scariest person alive.

Mark seems to notice Jaemin’s absence too because he frowns. “I should get going. Catch you later?” He asks in a hopeful tone.

Jeno beams, “Yeah, see you later Mark.” He says, holding onto the straps of his backpack as he watches Mark turn to leave. He waves at his friends, doing a complicated handshake with Donghyuck before sitting down. Jeno turns to walk through the school gates, the warm feeling in his chest never fading.

***

“Did you or did you not walk to school with Mark Lee.” Yangyang accuses dropping his bag onto the grass and sitting down much too close to Jeno for comfort. It was lunch time and they were sitting on their unofficial official designated patch of grass. 

“Uh,” Jeno starts, mouth full of his sandwich, “I did, but how do you know.”

“Hyunjun saw you two this morning and she told Heejin who told boy Hyunjin who then told Felix who told Chenle and Chenle told me.” Yangyang recounts in a single breath.

Renjun who has his head rested on Jeno’s lap and buried into a book looks up curiously, “Wait so the rumours are true then? You walked with Mark?” 

Jeno flushes, taking a bite out of his sandwich to delay replying to his nosy best friends. They both stared at him expectantly.

“So what if it’s true!” Jeno responds defensively, “I don’t see why it’s a big deal.”

“Well it wouldn’t be,” Renjun says, putting down his book and staring up at Jeno, it shouldn’t be so intimidating considering he’s laying on the boy’s lap but somehow it still is. “Except you have had the most embarrassing crush on Mark since freshman year.” 

Instead of dignifying Renjun with a response, Jeno moves his leg suddenly, letting the boy’s head fall against the grass. Renjun squawks in surprise as he hits the ground, glaring at Yangyang when he laughs at him.

_ “Hey!”  _ Renjun complains, sitting up to shove Jeno’s shoulder harshly, “You’re just mad because I’m right.” 

“It has nothing to do with the stupid crush!” Jeno says, like a liar. “He didn’t have a ride and asked me if I wanted to walk with him.”

“Wait a minute,” Yangyang says, cutting off his own hysterical laughter, “He asked  _ you?”  _

Jeno nods.

“That changes the game!” He exclaims, “Mark Lee is trying to get with you!” 

“In what way does that correlate?” Renjun asks, beating Jeno to the question.

“Oh young, sweet innocent Renjun,” Yangyang says in a tone laced with faux wisdom. He puts an arm around Renjun’s shoulder before continuing _ , _ “Let me tell you a little something about love, it starts off with walking someone to school, brushing your hand against theirs because you're too afraid to close the gap. Then it’s late night phone calls and casual hang outs and before you know it he’s at your doorstep in the middle of a storm begging you to go on a date with him.” 

Jeno stares at Yangyang long and hard. As much as he loved the image of Mark Lee at his door, drenched to the bone and holding out a single rose, Jeno refuses to indulge him. 

“He has a boyfriend, genius.” Jeno deadpans, reminding both himself and his equally delusional friend.

Yangyang waves it away, “Oh please, all they do is fight, it won’t come as a surprise to anyone when they break up.” 

Guilt pools at the pit of Jeno’s stomach, he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to finish his food. The last thing he wanted was to get between Mark and Jaemin. He barely knew Jaemin but the boy had always been nice to him, unlike the nasty rumours which painted him like a Regina George tier mean girl.

“That’s not a nice thing to say.” Jeno says, his voice small. The other two must have noticed the change in his mood because Renjun sends a glare Yangyang’s way and the other boy is quick to correct himself.

“I didn’t mean it harshly Jen, these things just happen sometimes.” Yangyang says, softer this time. 

“I guess you’re right.” Jeno replies, letting it go.

“Anyways,” Yangyang says “Since you’re buddy buddy with Mark again maybe you can get him to introduce me to Dejun!” 

Renjun scoffs, “I will never understand your obsession with him. He’s not even  _ that _ attractive.” 

Jeno couldn’t help but snort at the clear jealousy in Renjun’s tone. For someone who pretended not to care about anything, he sure had a lot of negative things to say about Dejun, a boy he’s never spoken to before. 

Yangyang however, completely misses it and jumps straight to listing  _ exactly why _ he (and everyone at this damn school) thought Dejun was the most attractive boy to ever exist. 

“First of all, have you seen his damn  _ eyebrows?”  _ Yangyang starts.

Jeno listens to his friends bicker back and forth, taking his mind off Mark and Jaemin and focusing on his stupidly dense friends instead. 

***

Jeno doesn’t run into Mark again until later in the week.

He leaves his mathlete meeting early to wait for Renjun outside his detention room. Despite Renjun’s stellar grades the boy had a habit of getting frequent detentions, he was never one to step down from a challenge, even if it was towards a teacher. The bell rings and Renjun storms out looking angry and dishevelled. 

“Let’s go,” He mutters, grabbing Jeno’s hand and intertwining their fingers. Jeno frowns observing the eye bags on Renjun’s face.

“Junnie are you okay?” He asks. 

Renjun gives him a weak smile, “Let’s talk about it at the diner? I’m in the mood to drown my sorrows in a milkshake.” 

Jeno nods, “I’ll text Yang to meet us there.”

They walk silently through the empty school hallways. As they reach the front gates they hear yelling coming from the parking lot. Most of the cars were gone due to the later hour, except the familiar black Hyundai which belonged to Jaemin. Renjun pulls Jeno back before he could walk past the gates.

“What the-”

“Shh,” Renjun hisses, pointing at the two figures standing in the parking lot. Renjun pushes Jeno against the gates so the couple wouldn’t see them.

“You’re keeping things from me.” Jaemin’s voice cuts in harshly. “Why am I hearing rumours about you and Jeno Lee?” 

“We shouldn’t be listening to this.” Jeno whispers to Renjun, “It’s wrong.”

“They’re talking about you.” Renjun whispers back, “It’s basically in your rights to listen.”

Jeno rolls his eyes but keeps silent anyway.

“We’re just friends!” Mark insists, exasperation filling his voice, “I can’t believe you’re bringing this up right now.”

“Why not? It’s important.” Jaemin challenges. 

“Okay well if it’s so important, let’s talk about you and Donghyuck too hm? What? You don’t think I’ve noticed  _ just _ how close you’ve gotten with my best friend?” Mark’s uses a tone Jeno’s never heard before. He sounds bitter, and a little bit broken.

There was a pause.

And then a weak, “ _ Mark _ .” 

“Just…” Mark says cutting him off, “Just go Jaemin, I’ll see you tomorrow or something.”

There’s a long drawn out silence and then the sound of the car door opening and closing. They listen intently as the engine starts and the car drives away. When Jeno is sure the coast is clear he emerges from their hiding place, pulling Renjun along with him.

However, the coast wasn’t clear, because Mark was still there, staring blankly at where Jaemin’s car was parked. He turns around when he hears their footsteps, eyes widening when he spots Jeno and Renjun. At least Jeno has the decency to look sheepish, Renjun just stares blankly. 

Mark’s eyes trail down to their linked hands but he says nothing about it. Instead he lets out a forced. “ Hey guys.” 

“Hey Mark, sorry, we didn’t mean to overhear.” Jeno says.

He shrugs in response, “The whole school knows at this point.”

“Are you okay?”

Mark lets out a long, stuttering breath. “I’ll be fine, just got a little heated that’s all.”

There’s an awkward pause in conversation and then Renjun blurts, “We’re heading to the diner near school, wanna come with us?”

Jeno looks at Renjun in surprise from the unexpected invite. He tries to telepathically tell him that  _ no Mark Lee should not come to the diner with us.  _ But of course, Renjun ignores him.

“Um… are you sure?” Mark asks with uncertainty. 

Renjun nods. “Yangyang will be there too, it’s where we usually let out our feelings over greasy food and milkshakes, it’s very therapeutic maybe you could do the same.” He says warmly. Which is strange, Renjun isn’t usually this friendly with people he’s not familiar with. But Jeno gets it. There was something about Mark that was so welcoming.

Mark looks at Jeno, “I don’t want to intrude.”

“You won’t.” Jeno says, trying to sound genuine.

Mark smiles. “Okay then, I’m down.”

Renjun mouths a smug “ _ You’re welcome” _ to Jeno before leading the way to the diner a few blocks away from school.

The walk to the diner was quiet, the three of them cramped side by side on the street with Jeno in the middle. He would occasionally brush his arm against Mark’s, his skin tingling at the very thought of holding his hand. It was clear that neither Renjun or Mark were in the mood to talk so he just braced through the awkward silence. Feeling relief when he spotted the diner in the distance. 

The diner was nothing special. A run down hole in the wall shoved between a frozen yogurt joint and a laundromat. There was a flickering pink neon sign reading  _ Nicky’s  _ pointing them towards the door _.  _ It wasn’t much but Jeno and his friends always found solace within the four walls of the funky smelling diner. They entered to find Yangyang already there, on his phone, plates of food and milkshakes on their usual table. He looks up when he hears the bell at the door chime.

“Finally you guys are here… oh hey Mark Lee.” He says furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. 

“Hey Yangyang Liu.” Mark greets sounding amused. 

Renjun pushes past Mark to slide into the booth next to Yangyang.

“You already ordered food you’re godsent.” He says, grabbing a handful of fries and stuffing it into his mouth before leaning his head on Yangyang’s shoulder. 

Jeno slides into the opposite booth, Mark sliding in next to him. Jeno gives Yangyang a smug smile as the boy reddened from Renjun’s sudden affection. Yangyang in turn, glares at him.

“What’s wrong Junnie.” Yangyang asks, a hand coming up to stroke the boy’s hair.

“Stupid Kim gave me detention for calling him out in class and then spent an extra 15 minutes grilling my ass on it, like I don’t get the best grades in his fucking class! And to top is off another member dropped out of art club and now they might shut us down!” He complains with a mouth full of fries.

“Kim is an asshole anyway,” Mark says trying to console Renjun. “Try not to let him get to you.”

“Yeah!” Yangyang chimes in cheerfully, “Mark Lee is right! And you can find another member to join your club.”

Mark looks like he wanted to say something about Yangyang constantly addressing him by his full name but he keeps quiet. Jeno snickers. 

“Who is gonna join the stupid club.” Renjun whines helplessly, “Everyone thinks it’s lame.”

“I don’t get why though,” Jeno says, “Art is dope.”

Everyone at the table collectively snorts at him but Jeno doesn’t understand why, he wasn’t making a joke.

“Jeno can join!” Yangyang exclaims. 

Renjun sits up suddenly, widening his eyes at Jeno, he could feel Mark’s curious gaze on him as well. Sure, Jeno enjoyed drawing and occasionally dabbled in painting but doesn’t mean he was any good at it. It was more of an embarrassing hobby he participated in whenever he was stressed and needed to wind down. 

“Um, I’m not very good.” 

“Bullshit!” Renjun calls, “I’ve seen your paintings! They’re incredible.”

Yangyang nods vigorously from next to Renjun. “Remember when you painted the sets for the play last year? Those were so good. ” He adds.

Jeno grows warm at all the sudden attention. He had only helped out on the play because Yangyang was stage director for the first time and was the most stressed he had ever been. Jeno just wanted to help out. 

“You used to draw my favourite comic book characters for me in middle school.” Mark says, still looking at Jeno curiously while Jeno tried to avoid his gaze. 

“Those were just silly doodles,” Jeno says, waving him away.

“I still have them.” Mark says. Jeno looks at him in surprise, meeting his eyes. 

“Really?”

Mark nods, eyes saying something that Jeno couldn’t hear. 

“Does that mean your in?” Renjun asks, interrupting their weird moment. He turns his head to look at Renjun, he had briefly forgotten that the other two were also there. 

“I don’t know Junnie,” Jeno says.

“Please Jeno,” Renjun says, reaching over the table to grab his hands. “You want to do architecture right? This will be great for your portfolio.”

Jeno sighs, he really would feel bad if he didn’t do Renjun this favour, the boy had started the art club himself, getting his art teacher to supervise and wrangling up random artistic students to join. 

“Okay fine.” 

Renjun cheers loudly, spirits lifting instantly and Jeno couldn’t stop his own smile. The rest of the afternoon is spent with the group ordering way too many milkshakes while listening to Yangyang rant about how  _ he _ deserved the lead in this season's play and not Donghyuck. He’s about halfway through complaining when he realises that Mark was still there, who was in fact Donghyuck’s best friend and flushes a deep embarrassing red. Mark only laughs good naturedly and says that Donghyuck had complained about Yangyang all of last semester because Yangyang had gotten the lead in their last play. Yangyang only seemed happy by this revelation, seemingly content with having a rival in the drama club.

Mark doesn’t share anything that day, he doesn’t speak about Jaemin once even though Renjun assured him he was safe to do so. But he tells Jeno later, when they are walking home together while the sun paints the sky orange and pink, that he feels a lot lighter than he did before. 

  
  


***

At 10pm on a Thursday night Mark gets a text from his boyfriend.

**Jaem <3: ** _ i’m outside, wanna go for a drive? _

Mark stares at the message for longer then he’s proud of, he responds with a  _ yeah be there in a sec.  _ His heart feeling heavy as he did so. He turns off the lamp in his room so his parents would think he’s asleep and opens his window. For second he glances at Jeno’s window, the boy was at his desk, faced scrunched up adorably in concentration as he moved his paintbrush across a paper that Mark couldn’t see. He closes his window without locking it and jumps onto the grass below. He could see Jaemin inside his car, scrolling through his phone. His stomach drops at the sight, he takes in a heavy breath before walking towards the black car. 

Jaemin smiles wearily at him when he opens the door. He sits down and puts on his seatbelt, the other boy starts the car without saying a single word. Jaemin usually greeted Mark warmly, smiling softly as he pulled the boy in with a kiss. Mark couldn’t even remember the last time he kissed Jaemin, it would feel unnatural to even lean in. He watches the streets pass him by as they drive in silence. They drive along the coast, Mark opens the window so he could feel the salty air and hear the waves crash against the rocks in the darkness. Jaemin parks in a familiar spot, a lookout point where during the day you could watch the ocean stretch far and wide, their spot. 

They used to drive here all the time, there was a cafe nearby that Jaemin loved, they made it their mission to try every drink and dessert there. They would walk along the coast and watch the ocean hand in hand. Mark could remember the first time they came here together. Jaemin had just passed his drivers test and picked Mark up immediately after, he drove them to the lookout point where they just made out in the back of Jaemin’s car.

“I’m tired of fighting with you.” Jaemin says, breaking Mark out of his thoughts. The first words he had said to Mark all night. He turns in his seat to watch Jaemin, the boy smiles sadly in the dim lighting. 

“What happened to us Jae?” Mark asks, not really expecting an answer, because they both knew. 

Jaemin swallows thickly, “We’re not… this… this isn’t healthy, we keep fighting and we barely even hang out anymore.”

Mark nods. He wants to say something that will fix it. Fix them. But he just can’t, he doesn’t have the energy to fight for them anymore and he knows Jaemin feels the same. It might be the only thing they can agree on. 

“I think we should break up.” Jaemin breathes out, like it was a relief to finally say it. 

“I think so too.” 

It’s quiet, the only sounds being the waves. Mark feels like he’s drowning in them. 

Jaemin sighs and grabs his hand. “I still love you Mark.” He says fiercely, like it’s the only thing he’s sure of. “This is just, this is better, we’re better off apart.” 

Mark has never really been good with words, he always struggled with expressing himself, doing it through actions instead. Jaemin was the one who was better at words. He doesn’t know what to say to comfort Jaemin so instead he laces their fingers together, rubbing his thumb tenderly over Jaemin’s skin. 

“Tell me,” Mark rasps out, almost pleadingly. “Did anything ever happen between you and Dong-”

“No no no Mark of course not.” Jaemin says quickly, letting go and reaching over to cup Mark’s face in his warm hands, bringing the comfort it had always brought. “I’d never do that to you.” His eyes bore into Mark’s, begging him to believe him. “Nothing happened between me and Donghyuck.”

Mark feels like there’s a stone lodged in his throat, hot tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. “But you want something to happen right?” He whispers out, afraid his voice would give away if he spoke any louder. 

Jaemin says nothing, his silence ringing into Mark’s ears, speaking louder than words could. He gently wipes away the stray tears falling onto Mark’s cheeks and then pulls away. 

“I’m sorry it got so ugly between us towards the end.” Mark says, unable to say much else. 

Jaemin shakes his head. “Not your fault.” He replies, voice cracking as tears fall from his own eyes. 

He wordlessly starts the car, pulling out of the parking space and driving back to Mark’s house. Mark can still hear the waves crashing against his skull. 

***

Jeno was trying out his new watercolours, a  _ thank you for joining my club  _ present from Renjun. He wasn't used to working with a medium that wasn't acrylic paints and was making a horrible mess of it. He sighs, rubbing his eyes, everyone in the art club was going to make fun of him, he should've just stuck to the mathletes.

His phone lights up with a text message, startling him out of his self deprecating thoughts.

**Mark:** _ look outside your window _

He rolls his eyes at the dramatics and leaves his half finished painting to open the curtains. He frowns when Mark isn’t at his window, the lights in his room turned off. He flickers his eyes down and sees the other boy waving at him from Jeno’s front lawn. Jeno opens his window.

“What are you doing?” He hisses out, praying that his parents don’t hear them. 

Mark grins at him, eyes shining with mischief. It makes Jeno's gut clench with a mix of fear and intrigue. "Do you wanna sneak out with me?" Mark asks.

Jeno smiles back, nodding in response and feeling giddy. He opens his window wide enough so he can climb through and jumps onto the grass close to where Mark is standing. The window wasn't high enough to break any bones but it was always a struggle to climb back into his room. Jeno can worry about that later though because right now Mark Lee was giving him a dangerous smile, holding up the brown paper bag in his hand to show Jeno.

"No way," Jeno says in disbelief, grabbing the bag and examining the bottle of rum inside with awe. "How'd you score this?"

He shrugs, leading Jeno out of his lawn and into the dim street. "Nicked it from Jaehyun's room, he'll be too stoned to notice anyway."

Jeno snorts, opening up the bottle and taking a swig. He winces at the taste.

“Ugh gross, we need a chaser.” 

Mark grabs the bottle from him and shoves his arm, “You’re just a pussy.” he says before drinking from it,  _ indirect kiss _ Jeno’s monkey brain supplies. He watches in amusement as Mark tries (and fails) at masking his own wince.

They walk in silence along the empty street, occasionally a car would pass by and startle Mark, making Jeno laugh. They pass the bottle between each other, Jeno welcomed the burn the rum brought to his throat, warming him on the cool night.

"Any reason you wanted to drink on a random Thursday?" Jeno asks, breaking the comfortable silence.

Mark forces out an uncomfortable laugh. “Um no,” He says rigidly, looking away from Jeno and towards the street. Jeno frowns at the sudden change in atmosphere, he looks so tense.

"Hey," Jeno says, grabbing onto Mark's shoulder and stopping them. He hadn't looked at Mark properly all night but under the streetlight he could see just how tired the boy looked. The colour was drained from his face and his eyes were slightly swollen. "Mark are you okay?" Jeno asks carefully.

"I'm fine." He replies dully, taking another sip from the bottle.

"Your eyes are red." Jeno points out, "Have you been crying?"

Mark sighs, rubbing his eye with his free hand. "Jaemin and I broke up."

"Oh," Jeno says, moving Mark's hand away from irritating his eye and holding it instead. "Are you okay?"

He takes in a few heavy breaths. Then glances at Jeno, eyes searching his face with an expression Jeno couldn’t identify.

“Yeah I’m okay.” He whispers.

He looks down at their connected hands. "Have you been painting?" He asks, observing the colours streaked across Jeno's fingers.

"Yeah, I've been practising so I don't embarrass myself in front of Renjun's talented artist friends." Jeno says.

Mark giggles, tension dropping from his shoulders. "You're so cute Jeno, you don't need to impress them."

Jeno feels his face turn warm, he lets go of Mark's hand so he could pat down his own cheeks down like it was a fire. "Shut the fuck up." He huffs out, snatching the bottle from Mark's grip and running down the street.

"Oi! Jeno Lee!" Mark calls out, the words echoing into the night, "Get back here with my rum!"

He runs after Jeno while laughing maniacally. Their footsteps in sync, hitting against the cement to the rhythm of Jeno's heartbeat. Jeno runs even faster, feeling the wind cut against skin and howl in his ears.

To no one's surprise, basketball captain Mark Lee catches up to him, wrapping his arms around Jeno's shoulders and sending them both slightly off balance. He ruffles Jeno's hair.

"Damn you're fast," Mark wheezes out while panting heavily. "Do they make you run at those mathlete meetings?"

Jeno scoffs, reaching over to pull his ear, "No dickhead, I was on the track team last year."

Mark widens his eyes, “Track team, mathletes and art club?” Mark gives a low whistle, “Is there anything you can’t do Jeno Lee?”

Jeno usually hates praise but it sounds so good coming from Mark. He shoves the boy off him, confidence coursing through his veins as he says, “You left something out.”

Mark raises his eyebrows at him in amusement, “What?”

“I can outdrink you too.” He brings the bottle to his lips, downing it as fast as he can until his lungs burn. Mark pulls it away from him, alcohol spilling over his lips and down his neck. 

“Ya, leave some for me idiot.” Mark grumbles, taking a few gulps of his own. 

Jeno spots a park a few metres away from them. “Let’s go over there,” He slurs out, the alcohol starting to cloud his mind, “I wanna go on the slide.” 

Mark groans but let’s Jeno drag him towards the park. It was quite big, a large playground towering over it and a basketball court nearby. It was one Jeno was familiar with it but at this hour of the night, in the quiet darkness, the playground seemed eerie, sending a shiver down his spine. 

With great difficulty and zero grace, Jeno and Mark climb to the top of the playground. Mark slips off the ladder and lands on his butt a couple times before he joins Jeno on the top. They sit on the makeshift wooden bridge, side by side in the cramped space, clearly not made for two teenage boys. They sit in comfortable silence for a bit, passing the bottle between each other while Mark played with Jeno's fingers.

“Jeno,” Mark whispers into the darkness, eyes wide and cheeks tinted pink, “This place is creepy.”

“Mhmm,” Jeno replies, not really paying attention.

“No seriously like, it’s so cold and dark I bet there are spirits wandering around here or something.”

Jeno raises an eyebrow at him. “Huh?”

“Ghosts usually haunt abandoned places right? What’s more abandoned then a park in 2020? Kids don’t go to parks anymore, I read an article about it!” He says seriously, words crashing into each other.

“Mark you’re drunk.” Jeno deadpans, he tried to pry the bottle from his hands. “Maybe it’s time I cut you off.” 

Mark pulls away from Jeno’s grabby hands. “I’m serious Jen! Wouldn’t it be so cool if we met a ghost? What if it’s like a ghost child who sits on the swing and waits for someone to play with, we should go play with the ghost child!”

Jeno reaches over and grabs Mark’s face with his hand, squishing it between his fingers, making him look like a fish and effectively shutting him up. “You’re cute when you ramble.” Jeno says with the courage of someone whose veins contained more liquor than blood.

Mark looks back at him, eyes shining like pools of glitter. Jeno lets go of his face, resting his palm against the other boys neck, pulse beating under his fingertips. 

They were close now, so close, breathing in each others air, invading each others space, close enough to-

“Jeno…” Mark whispers, sounding out of breath. He glances down at Jeno’s lips for a split second and then back up. He leans in closer, until his lips are ghosting over Jeno’s own.

Oh how Jeno wants this. How badly he wants to close the gap between them and feel nothing but Mark. He’s spent nights laying awake thinking about Mark, his hands, his eyes, his lips, how soft his hair would feel with Jeno’s hands curled around them. His voice, deep and broken, saying Jeno’s name like a prayer.

But he pulls away. 

He pulls away because they’re drunk and stupid and Mark had been in a relationship just a few hours ago. He pulls away because he’s afraid of what they would become if he hadn’t. Afraid of being a rebound, a drunken mistake, someone Mark will never speak to again after tonight. 

“I’m sorry.” Jeno says and Mark shakes his head in response.

“Don’t be,” He replies, “It’s my fault… I shouldn’t..I wasn’t thinking.” 

Jeno’s throat feels dry when he says, “It’s okay.” 

Mark gives him a shy smile, leaning forward and resting his head on Jeno’s shoulder, hair tickling the side of his face.

‘Mhm sleepy.” Mark mumbles. Jeno feels his own eyes grow heavy.

“A short nap won’t hurt anyway.” He mumbles back.

“Night Jen,” 

“Night Mark.” He says, leaning forward to kiss the top of the boy’s head. 

  
  
  


Jeno awoke to a blinding light, yelling in the distance and someone shoving at his shoulder.

“Jen wake up, wake up.” Mark’s voice was whispering into his ear, pulling at his skin. 

He rubbed his eyes, groaning at the ache in his neck. He opens his eyes to see Mark inches away and wearing a panicked expression. 

“Oh thank fuck.” Mark says, “Let’s go, the park security guard is here.” He pulls Jeno up before he gets the chance to blink the sleepiness away. He vaguely registers the yelling getting louder, identifying the bright light as the beam of a flashlight. He scrambles up, eyes widening as Mark pulls him to his feet. “Come on, let’s go.” Mark pushes.

Mark jumps off the playground onto the ground, Jeno following and losing his footwork, alcohol still clouding his brain. Mark grabs onto him before he could fall into the dirt, holding an arm around his waist. 

“Oi you boys!” a gruff voice calls, and suddenly they were flushed in bright light. “Stop right there!” The security guard yells, marching towards them.

Jeno looks at Mark, the other boy looking alarmed, like a deer caught in headlights.

“Run!” Mark shouts, grabbing Jeno’s arm and making a break for it. And for the second time that night they were running into the darkness. They ran until the park was nothing but a blur, stopping to catch their breath and ease the thundering of their heartbeats.

“Fuck.” Jeno hisses out, sitting down on the curb and Mark taking his spot next to him. “I can’t feel my legs.”

Mark laughs breathlessly, “What time is it?” 

“4:30am,” Jeno replies, checking his phone. “Fuck we have to be at school in a few hours.”

“Let’s just skip.” Mark insists, nudging Jeno’s shoulders with his own.

Jeno glares at him, “We can’t skip, I have a mathletes meeting and a chemistry practical.”

“Okay then, you go to school.” Mark says, “I have no obligations.”

“Idiot. You have basketball and you’re not allowed to leave me to suffer alone.”

“Always so dramatic.” Mark replies, rolling his eyes but his smile never leaves. 

“Are you still drunk?” Jeno asks.

Mark shakes his head, “Nah I think I slept it off, you?”

Jeno gazes out at the empty street, his vision was blurry and it felt like the road under his feet was moving. He was definitely still drunk. He nods. “I feel like if I walk I’ll fall and hit my face.”

Mark stands up, “Well we can’t damage that pretty face of yours,” He says, pulling Jeno up with him despite the boy's whines. He turns around and says, “Get on my back.”

“What?” Jeno was beginning to believe he had been hallucinating the entire night. Maybe he fell asleep on his painting and the chemicals were giving him strangely realistic fever dreams.

“Get on my back,” Mark repeats, “I’ll carry you the rest of the way home,”

“Uh,” Jeno says unintelligently, “I guess,” He jumps onto Mark’s back, the boy’s hands holding the back of his thighs as Jeno wraps his arms around his neck.

_ Mark is touching your thighs,  _ his brain unhelpfully supplies, causing the blood to run to his cheeks. He turns his head slightly to watch Mark, the boy’s own cheeks tinting a pretty pink,  _ he bleeds all the same _ . 

“You’re heavy.” Mark teases, his grip on Jeno’s legs tightening as he begins walking. 

They fall into a comfortable silence as Mark carries Jeno along the street. The sky was starting to lighten, a warm orange falling onto them as the birds flew through the clouds, sitting on trees and singing pretty songs.

“Thanks for today,” Mark says so quietly that Jeno could just hear him over the birds. “It meant a lot to me.” 

“Me too,” Jeno responds just as quietly. “We’re going to regret it when we get to school though.”

“No kidding.” Mark says, laughing. Jeno lets his eyes fall closed, relishing in the sound of it.

Despite his words, Jeno doesn’t regret that night. Not even when he struggles to pay attention in bio because of his piercing hangover or when he keeps getting answers wrong in his mathletes meeting due to being too exhausted to do basic math. Because during lunch, Mark approaches him and his friends at their patch of grass, tired eyes asking if he could sit with them, he lays his head on Jeno’s lap and falls asleep for the rest of the lunch period. And Jeno doesn’t regret anything at all.

***

After Mark and Jaemin break up, Mark starts spending most of his time with Jeno and his friends. He begins eating lunch with them every day, hanging out with them at the diner and sometimes he would invite them to his house, where they would play video games in his basement until someone (usually Renjun) rage quits. He works well with the three of them, he and Renjun would talk about books, argue movie theories and government conspiracies. He and Yangyang would make fun of each other, bickering relentlessly until they fell into a fit of giggles. And Jeno? Well he had always worked well with Jeno, and they were slowly getting closer than ever. 

The only problem with Mark joining them was that the rest of the school noticed. They noticed Mark link arms with Jeno in the hallways, Mark meeting up with them outside the gym after basketball practice, his instagram stories with updates of the three of them getting boba together. 

As much as Jeno loved spending all this time with Mark, he didn’t know how long he could stand the curious stares and rumours forming. He especially couldn’t handle the burning gaze of Jaemin Na watching him in the classes they shared together. 

“As much as I enjoy making fun of you everyday,” Yangyang begins, chewing noisily on his burger. “You need to stop ignoring your friends. Donghyuck keeps glaring at me during rehearsal, like he thinks I stole you from him or something.”

The four of them were at the diner, textbooks spread out on the table amongst the plates of food while they attempted to study. Renjun was the only one getting anything done. 

“I’m not ignoring them!” Mark defends, “I literally hung out with the guys last night.”

Renjun looks up from his physics book and gives Mark a knowing look. “By the guys you mean everyone except Donghyuck and Jaemin right?” 

Mark smiles guiltily. 

“I thought you and Jaemin were on good terms?” Jeno asks gently, something Renjun and Yangyang weren’t very good at.

Mark looks at him, eyes softening but still sparkling with guilt. “We are on good terms. It’s just..” He sighs, running a hand through his hair and messing it up. “I know they like each other and I don’t want Hyuck to feel like he has to choose between me and Jaemin so I’m giving them space.”

“Avoiding him looks like you’re choosing for him” Yangyang says with a bizarre air of wisdom. 

Mark’s eyes widen, like he’s never considered it. “Oh.” He says airily. 

Yangyang leans over and pats his shoulder, “Since I’ve given you the advice of your life, don’t you think it’s time you introduced me to Dejun?” He prods.

Mark meets Jeno’s gaze, looking unsure. Jeno had actually asked Mark not to introduce Yangyang to Dejun, afraid that Renjun’s passive aggressive behaviour towards the boy would turn into full on aggressive behaviour. 

His eyes flash back to Yangyang, giving him a playful smile. “I wouldn’t put poor Dejun through that,” He says.

Yangyang slams his palm onto the table, attracting unwanted attention from the neighbouring tables, “How dare you Mark Lee,” He cries out in offence. “Dejun would be so lucky to meet someone like me.” 

Mark opens his mouth to retort but is cut off by Renjun,

“Can we please get back to the topic at hand,” He says irritatedly, “Mark you need to talk to Donghyuck."

Mark groans, pressing his face into his notebook, "It's gonna be so awkward."

"Bud," Yangyang says patting his head, "Everything about you is awkward."

Jeno snorts at that. Mark lifts his head, resting his chin on his book to glare at Jeno across the table. "I expected this type of slander from Yangyang, but you too Jeno? Wow."

"Your attempt at changing the subject is not working." Jeno replies raising an eyebrow at Mark. The boy groans again. His phone buzzes on the table and he checks it, reading the message and grinning from ear to ear.

"That was Lucas," He says, "I have plans with him later, I have to go, nice talk though." He rushes out, hurriedly packing up his books and stuffing them into his backpack.

"Mark you can't keep avoiding your-"

"Bye guys!" He interrupts Jeno cheerily, "Jeno I'll walk you to school tomorrow?"

Jeno sighs, giving up. "Yeah I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sweet." Mark says sliding out of the booth and walking out of the diner. 

"That boy is hopeless," Renjun utters out once Mark is gone.

"I think we should meddle," Yangyang says, looking sly.

"No we should not." Jeno cuts in, "Nothing ever goes right when we meddle."

Yangyang looks at Renjun, giving him a hopeful stare, he juts out his lip slightly blinks innocently. Renjun stares back for a long while and then looks at Jeno.

"I think we should meddle." He confirms. Jeno groans.

"Wonderful! Because I already have a plan." Yangyang says rubbing his hands together, effectively smearing sauce everywhere. He pauses for dramatic effect. "I'm gonna throw a party!"

There's a pause.

And then, "Yangyang we're your only friends, no one else is gonna come to your party." Renjun says.

Jeno suppresses his laugh as Yangyang glares at Renjun. "First of all, people love me of course they would come and second of all I'll say it's a party, invite only Mark's friends and boom! they talk."

"Yang that's kind of genius." Jeno says.

"That's never going to work." Renjun says at the same time.

Yangyang grins gratefully at Jeno before frowning at Renjun. "Why not?"

"For one, we barely know Mark’s friends, also shoving people in a room together won’t make them talk.” 

“I don’t know Junnie,” Jeno muses, “Mark isn’t confrontational but I think this could be the push he needs.” 

“See! Jeno gets it.” Yangyang proclaims.

Renjun sighs, giving in. “Okay, let’s do it, but if it blows up in our faces I get _ I told you so  _ privileges for a whole week.” 

“Perfect.” Yangyang says, “Okay, let’s have the party Friday night. I can invite Donghyuck because I see him at rehearsals and I’ll tell him to tell the rest?”

“Sounds good.” Renjun says, “Now can we please get back to studying? I have a quiz tomorrow.”

Yangyang grumbles loudly in objection but quickly stops when Renjun sends him a glare, he quietly goes back to his own opened history book.

Jeno had a good feeling about the plan. He didn’t want Mark to isolate himself from his friends just because of one bad breakup. All he wanted was for Mark to be happy and if complying with one of Yangyang’s schemes was what it took, he was glad to do so. 

***

When Jeno gets home that night he sees Mark through his window, the boy was sitting on the window sill and playing his guitar, eyes closed and singing something Jeno couldn’t hear. Jeno knocks on his own window, capturing Mark’s attention. The boys looks up in surprise. He smiles at Jeno, eyes like shooting stars, and puts his guitar down, picking up his pad of paper. 

_ I was waiting for u to get home.  _ The paper reads.

Jeno rolls his eyes, reaching for his own pad and writing.  _ You couldn’t have texted? _

Mark shrugs.  _ This is more fun.  _ He rips out the page and immediately begins writing again.

_ Sorry abt how i left earlier, Lucas informed me that it was a dick move :( _

Jeno laughs,  _ thats ok.  _ He writes out,  _ u can make it up to us by coming to yangs party on friday. _

Mark’s mouth forms the shape of an 'O'.  _ Yangyang is having party????!!!!! _

_ Yeah, babys first house party.  _ He writes out. Turning the pad around to show Mark. He feels a sting of guilt at the little white lie. 

_ I’ll b there _ . Comes Mark’s response,  _ I shud get going tho, goodnight Jeno <3 _

_ Goodnight Mark.  _ After he shows Mark his response, he flips the page. He stares at the blank paper for a while and it’s like his hand moves on it’s own accord, writing out the words  _ I love you,  _ his heart thrashing violently against his ribcage with each word written. The bold black words stared up at him, etching itself into his brain. He was sure about it. He’s in love with Mark Lee. How could he not be? When Mark had so easily fit himself back into Jeno’s life. With their late night phone calls where he would sleepily ramble until one of them falls asleep. Or their walks to school, sharing music and linking arms. Even when he wasn’t with Mark he was thinking about Mark. Wondering where he was,what he was doing, if he stopped stressing over whatever assignment he had due and gave himself a break. Which would then lead to Jeno texting Mark and making sure he’s taking a break. 

Being with Mark was just so natural. It felt right. 

He looks up to show Mark his message only to find the curtains drawn closed, the lights in the other boy’s room turned off. Jeno sighs, staring back at his hopelessly bold declaration of love. Maybe it was for the best. 

***

Wednesday’s are the only days in the week where neither Mark or Jeno have any obligations after school. They usually walk home together, stopping at a convenience store to grab snacks or Mark would drag Jeno to the basketball courts and teach him how to play. (Jeno already knew how to play Basketball, but he thought Mark was so cute in how badly he explained the game so he pretended he didn’t). However this Wednesday, they walked straight home. Jeno walked Mark to his doorstep, the other boy hesitating to go in. 

“Do you uh, want to come inside?” Mark says. 

Regardless of his awkwardness Jeno feels warm at the invitation. “Sure.” He accepts.

Mark grins and unlocks his front door and goes through, Jeno trailing in behind him.

“No ones at home.” He says, taking off his shoes and walking into the kitchen. “Do you want me to make you lunch?” 

“Yeah okay, what can you cook?” Jeno asks, taking his own shoes off and following Mark. 

He smiles at Jeno, and Jeno could count the stars between his teeth. “I cook a mean bowl of ramen.” He says proudly.

Jeno laughs, “Of course you do.” 

He sits on the barstool at the kitchen counter, watching as Mark digs his bluetooth speaker out of one of the drawers. He hands Jeno his phone.

“Here play something while I find Jaeyhun’s secret ramen stash.”

Jeno unlocks Mark's phone, scrolling through his spotify and wincing at the never ending list of playlists, Mark hoarded playlists like it was his job. Some of them were titled with various keysmashes, others titled  _ winter ‘18  _ or  _ spring ‘19. _ There were also some weirdly specific titles like  _ the feeling you get when you kiss someone for the first time  _ and  _ songs for when the existential dread keeps you up at night.  _ Jeno couldn’t help but find it endearing, it was so like Mark. Jeno stops scrolling at the title of one of the playlists, blinking at it a few times to make sure he wasn’t misreading.  _ For Jeno Lee <3\.  _ The picture was one Mark took of him at the diner, whipped cream from his milkshake smeared onto the corners of his wide smile, a candid that Jeno hated but seeing it on Mark’s phone made him feel warm. 

“You made me a playlist?” He asks softly. 

Mark whips his head up, eyes as wide as saucers. He drops the packet of shin ramen that was in his hands and Jeno mourns the crushed noodles inside. 

“Oh uh yeah haha,” Mark says awkwardly, which is expected of him. “It’s unfinished but yeah, it’s just a bunch of songs that reminded me of you and that I think you’ll like. I was gonna show you when I was done.” He says, avoiding Jeno’s eyes and bending down to pick up the ramen. Jeno wanted to tease Mark for the crimson painting his cheeks, call him adorable and watch the colour darken. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Making a playlist for Jeno was so  _ touching,  _ the most Mark-like way to show affection. Jeno was rendered speechless.

“Can we listen to it?” He asks instead.

Mark looks up at him, surprise coating his expression as he slowly nods. 

Jeno hits shuffle and of course,  _ of course _ the first song that plays is a Frank Ocean song.

The song fills the silence as Mark boils the water, singing along softly. Jeno wishes he could pause the music and just listen to Mark sing instead. He’s content in listening and watching Mark, singing along to the parts he knows. The song changes to something more upbeat that Jeno didn’t recognise. 

“Oh I love this song.” Mark grins, like he didn’t make the playlist. He abandons the tomatoes he’d started cutting up and walks over to Jeno, his smile widening. “Dance with me.” He says.

“Um I don’t think so.” Jeno declines, dodging the Mark’s hands as he tries to pull him from the barstool.

“You can’t not dance to this song.” Mark insists, “That’s basically illegal.” 

Jeno giggles, letting Mark pull him off the chair. And so they danced together, the kitchen tiles cool under Jeno’s feet as he let the other boy dip him and turn him dramatically, both of them in a fit of giggles. Mark dances the way he does everything else, not awkwardly like Yangyang would claim, but carefully, like every move was calculated, like there was nothing else he’d rather be doing then dancing with Jeno. He grabs both of Jeno’s hands, moving them with exaggerated dance moves, smiling proudly when it made Jeno laugh. Then the song ended and something much slower played. They both stopped awkwardly, staring at each other unsure what to do, until Mark smiles again and moves into Jeno’s space, dropping his hands to hold boy’s waist. Jeno immediately goes to wrap his hands around Mark’s neck, toying with the soft hair on the back of his neck. They begin swaying to the slow beat, Mark singing under his breath, his eyes capturing Jeno’s own.

“We must look so stupid.” Jeno says, “Slow dancing badly in your kitchen.” 

Mark chuckles, “Good thing there’s no one else here, just you and me.” He whispers, sending electricity down Jeno’s spine.

It’s quiet for a while, Jeno takes a moment to engrave this memory into his brain. He never wanted to forget it, how Mark looked at him under the yellow kitchen light, the warmth of his hands against Jeno’s waist, like nothing else could ever warm him up again. The way he was close enough to Mark to see the faintest hints of his moustache and the acne scars scattered across his cheeks. Everything about the moment was perfect.

“Jeno, I need to tell you something.” Mark says softly, like if he was any louder the moment would disappear forever. 

Jeno waits for Mark to continue, but he doesn’t. His eyes trailing down to glance at his lips.

“What is it Mark?” Jeno asks gently.

The boy doesn’t answer, leaning in instead, until his lips were ghosting over Jeno’s. And this time Jeno doesn’t want to pull away. He wants to kiss Mark, he wants Mark.

And then the song changes. A loud bass startling them both. Jeno pulls away. 

The song plays for a bit while they both stare at each other, matching expressions of embarrassment and something more. There was always something more. 

Jeno recognises the song. “Seriously Mark? You put Shawn Mendes on my playlist?” He asks incredulously.

Mark laughs, breaking the tension in the room. The moment is gone.

***

Mark’s basketball practice gets cancelled so he decides to crash Jeno and Renjun during their art club meeting. The meetings usually consisted of the six members painting as jazz music played on the art teacher’s speaker and then during the last half hour everyone would talk about their paintings, ask questions, share ideas. Despite Jeno’s reluctance to join the club at first, he actually finds himself looking forward to it. He finds serenity from the painting and the quiet, it was relaxing to think about nothing except the mess of colours he splashed onto his canvas. 

However having Mark there was less relaxing. Mostly because Mark was leaning over Jeno to watch him paint, chin resting on Jeno’s shoulder. Every time he commented on Jeno’s work his mouth was dangerously close to Jeno’s ear, making it extremely hard for him to focus. His hands were also resting close to Jeno’s jacket, where the piece of paper reading  _ I love you _ was burning inside his pocket. Jeno had ripped it off the pad and shoved it into his pocket earlier that morning, planning to show Mark during the walk to school but ultimately chickening out. 

To top off the wearisome mood, Renjun was sat next to Jeno, muttering angrily to himself and violently stabbing his brush onto his canvas. Jeno sighs, putting his brush down. When Mark gives him a confused look he gestures towards Renjun, the boy hummed in understanding and sits up, _ finally,  _ Jeno thinks,  _ space to breathe _ .

Jeno winces when he catches a glimpse of Renjun’s canvas. A furious mix of reds oranges and yellows drowning out the rest of the painting. Jeno was no therapist but he was sure that painting an entire city on fire meant something was wrong. 

“Junnie, why are you destroying an entire city of people?” Jeno asks gingerly.

“Because Yangyang is a confusing piece of shit.” Renjun huffs out, throwing more red paint onto the canvas. Mark snorts next to him and Jeno gives him a reprimanding look. 

“Okay and why are we mad at Yangyang?” Jeno pushes.

Renjun sighs and puts his paintbrush down. He turns to Jeno with a serious look on his face.

“I have to tell you something.” He says solemnly. He grabs Jeno’s hand with his own paint covered one. He pauses for a few moments and then says, “I have a crush on Yangyang.”

Jeno and Mark look at each other. After a beat of silence, they both burst into laughter. 

“What?” Renjun says angrily, “Why are you guys laughing?” He glowers at them.

“Junnie I’ve known this for a long time, you’re not exactly subtle, even Mark picked it up.”

Renjun frowns, “That’s impossible. I only realised a few days ago.”

Okay,  _ now  _ Jeno was surprised 

“And I thought  _ I  _ lacked self awareness,” Mark says, receiving a menacing look from Renjun in response. 

“Whatever,” Renjun mumbles, picking his brush back up and continuing to prod harshly onto his canvas, “It’s not like anything will happen between us, all he does is talk about stupid Dejun.” He says miserably. 

“You don’t know that.” Jeno says, ignoring Mark’s offended  _ Dejun isn’t stupid!  _ “I think Yangyang just has, um, strange ways of showing affection.” He really wanted to say that he thinks Yangyang only talks about Dejun in an attempt to make Renjun jealous, and not because he’s seriously interested in him. Jeno could name countless times where they had passed Dejun in the school halls and Yangyang barely even notices. However he wasn’t sure how Renjun would react to his information so he keeps it to himself.

“He won't shut up about how Hyuck said that Dejun can come to his party! How could he talk about another boy while he was holding  _ my  _ hand?” Renjun complains. 

“Wait wait hold on.” Jeno says, getting whiplash from Renjun’s words. “You and Yangyang were holding hands? Is this a regular thing?”

Renjun shrugs, “Yeah, it’s no big deal, we hold hands too.”

“Yeah but this is  _ Yangyang, _ ” Jeno stresses, “He’s allergic to physical affection, once I grabbed his hand to stop him from accidentally walking into a moving car and he told me to just let him die next time.” 

Mark snorts beside Jeno. He really wasn’t contributing anything helpful to the conversation other than laughing and making snarky remarks. Jeno was so tired.

However, Jeno’s comment makes Renjun smile victoriously, “I bet stupid Dejun has never held Yangyang’s hand.” He says, sounding a bit too devious for Jeno’s liking. Whatever, he’ll take it, as long as Renjun stopped painting disturbing images.

“That’s only because Yangyang has never actually met-” Jeno elbows Mark’s side before he could finish his sentence. Ignoring his yelp of pain and giving him a warning look. 

Mark giggles, “I know you’re trying to look threatening but you just look cute.” He whispers so Renjun can’t hear. 

Jeno’s face grows warm, glaring at Mark once more. He stands up from his stool suddenly.

“I’m gonna go get more blue paint,” He declares quickly.

“Can you get yellow too?” Renjun asks, attention back on his painting. “My fire doesn’t look deadly enough.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back,” He rushes out, ignoring Mark entirely and speed walking out of the classroom into the hallway where he could finally breathe. 

He walks to the art supply room, trying to clear his head. They hadn’t talked about what happened in the kitchen and now that Jeno thinks about it, they hadn’t talked about the almost kiss in the park all those weeks ago either. He and Mark kept having fleeting moments of romance and would never discuss it. They continued on with life like nothing happened. But after the almost kiss in the kitchen Mark had been extra clingy with Jeno, extra affectionate. He was confused. Not sure whether Mark was being his friendly self or  _ something more.  _ He slips his hand into his jacket pocket, wrapping his fingers around the written confession. He needed to show Mark, to get it off his chest, to feel that something more. But he wasn’t sure it was the right time. He had so many questions.  _ Did Mark actually like him back or was it all in his head? Was he ready for a relationship with Mark? Was Mark ready for a relationship? Was he still into Jaemin?  _

_ Jaemin.  _

Speaking of the devil, there Jaemin was, grabbing books from his locker and stuffing them into his backpack. He shuts the locker door, the sound echoing in the barren hallway. He spots Jeno and stops short.

“Hi,” Jaemin says, timidly. From everything Jeno has heard of Jaemin he’d never known him to be timid.

“Hey,” Jeno greets, “What are you still doing here I thought practice was cancelled.”

“Oh yeah it was.” He replies, “I was just practicing alone, the semi finals are coming up.”

“Right yeah,” Jeno says, all Mark had been doing lately was stressing over semi finals, the boy basically vibrated with anxiety whenever basketball was mentioned.

“Where are you heading?” Jaemin asks.

“Art supply room.”

“Cool I’m heading that way too, I’ll walk with you.” It isn’t a question, so Jeno doesn’t agree nor disagree, he just keeps walking. 

They walk in an uncomfortable silence until they reach the room, Jeno unlocks it and walks in, instantly welcomed by paint fumes. Jaemin takes a deep breath in and sighs contently, like he enjoyed the awful smell. The room was cramped from floor to ceiling in art supplies, he heads towards a wooden table where the unopened bottles of paints were. He doesn’t question it when Jaemin follows him in. However he is a little concerned. Jaemin smiles at him like he either wants to murder him or knows all his secrets. It’s unsettling.

“So you and Mark huh?” Jaemin says, breaking the silence and making Jeno jump. 

“Um,” He swallows thickly, maybe Jaemin  _ was  _ going to kill him. “What about me and Mark?”

“Are you guys dating?” He probes.

“No,” He says quickly, “We’re just friends!” 

Jaemin chuckles, “Relax Jeno I’m just asking, there’s no hidden agenda here.”

Jeno squints at him, disbelieving. “Sounds like something someone with a hidden agenda would say.”

This time Jaemin laughs loudly, it echoes in the room. “You’re so funny, I was just wondering because he spends so much time with you, even while we were still together.” He adds the last bit like an afterthought.

Jeno shakes his head, waving his arms frantically. “Nothing happened while you guys were together, I’m not that kind of person.”

“Oh?” Jaemin inquires, “So something happened after?”

Fuck. 

No wonder the entire school feared Jaemin.

“I… yeah.” He sighs, giving up. 

He leans against the table, forgetting about the paint entirely. “Mark is just so confusing!” He cries out.

Jaemin snorts, “Tell me about it.” He moves to stand next to Jeno, leaning against the table himself.

“We keep having these weird moments, and then we never talk about it again..I don’t know if...” He trails off, unsure if he should speak the words that had been bothering him for a while. “I’m scared that I might just be a rebound to him.” He finishes off quietly, looking at Jaemin like the boy held all his answers.

His eyes soften.

“Jeno,” he starts, “I can tell you right now that both Mark and I moved on from each other long before we broke up. It’s sad but it’s true.” 

“Oh…” Jeno says, not really knowing how to respond.

“Besides, I see the way he looks at you, it’s the way he used to look at me.” Jaemin adds, giving Jeno a sad smile, it’s almost a grimace but Jeno finds warmth in it anyway. 

Jaemin gets up, “Just some food for thought,” He says. He moves to walk towards the door but Jeno stops him.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard already but Yangyang is having a party tomorrow night.” Jeno says, “You should come.”

Jaemin beams at him, the gleam returning to his eyes. “Donghyuck told me but thanks for the invite, I’ll be there. It was nice talking to you Jeno.” He says before he leaves.

On Jeno’s way back to the art classroom, he thinks about Jaemin’s words. He has no idea what prompted Jaemin to follow Jeno into an art supply room and give him relationship advice but he was sure glad he did. 

***

Mark didn’t know what he was expecting at a party hosted by Yangyang Liu’s but finding no one else there except his own friends, two of which he had been avoiding like the plague, was definitely not it. 

He should’ve known when Yangyang had opened the door with a sly grin and let Mark and Jeno into a quiet house. House parties weren’t supposed to be quiet. 

“Keen observation.” Jeno had said sarcastically to Mark when he voiced this. 

Yangyang led them to his living room, his house was surprisingly large. Why were they spending all their time in Mark’s dusty basement when Yangyang had a massive house for them to hang out at this entire time?

They reached the living room to find all the important people in Mark’s life, sitting in silence and looking uncomfortable. Lucas, Dejun and Kunghang were sitting on one couch, sending Mark a pleading look as he entered the room. Donghyuck was sitting at a single couch by himself, arms crossed and glaring at the ground. Renjun was on the floor, switching between staring at his phone and side eyeing Dejun. The only person who looked comfortable was Jaemin, who was hovering around Yangyang’s living room, observing his picture frames and ornaments like he was collecting intel on Yangyang. Mark only added to the tense atmosphere.

“I thought this was a houseparty.” Mark says to Yangyang. He tries to ignore the way Donghyuck burns a whole into the side of his face while he speaks.

“That’s what we all thought.” Lucas calls out. 

Yangyang smiles, a look which could parallel Jaemin’s own vindictive smile. “It is a house party! This is my house, and we’re having a party. Look I even bought a cake” He says pointing at the coffee table, where they is in fact, a cake

“That’s not what-” Mark sighs, “Nevermind.” 

Mark goes to sit down on the empty space next to Dejun, Jeno sits next to Renjun on the floor and Mark catches himself wishing the boy would sit closer. As soon as he sits Donghyuck stands up, storming out of the living room and into the kitchen. The atmosphere in the room worsens and Mark can feel it hot and sticky on the back of his neck. 

Jaemin looks up from one of Yangyang’s photo albums _ (how did he get that?)  _ and gives Mark a pointed look. One that he knows all too well, Jaemin was _ disappointed _ with him.

“Why are you mad a Donghyuck?” Jaemin scolds, making Mark feel small. “You can be mad at me that’s fine but he’s done nothing wrong.”

Mark sulks childishly, “I’m not mad at him! Or you for that matter!”

Jaemin lifts an eyebrow. 

“I’m not! I just, I don’t know it’s weird okay. I’m trying to give you guys space.”

Jaemin puts the album down and crosses his arms. “We never  _ asked  _ for space Mark. If anyone is making things weird it’s you. The others agree with me.” He says firmly. 

Mark looks at the other three, who look back at him with matching looks of guilt. “You guys think I’m being weird too?” 

Kunghang sends Jaemin a nasty look, “Way to throw us under the bus dude.”

“Just talk to Donghyuck.” Jaemin sounds tired now. “You guys were best friends before we dated, before I even joined the group. Don’t let it end like this.” 

Mark groans. He hates how Jaemin has always been right about everything. He hates even more that Jaemin continues to know what’s best for him. He looks at Jeno, the boy smiles encouragingly at him, giving him two thumbs up as his eyes disappear into half moons. Okay, maybe he could do this. 

He stands up from the couch, Dejun pats his butt in encouragement. He walks towards the kitchen smiling gratefully at Lucas when he calls  _ Good luck Markie!.  _ God knows he needed it.

As soon as he enters the kitchen he sees Donghyuck, struggling to open a bottle of beer. Oh, so Yangyang did buy alcohol, at least he got that part right. 

“Here let me open it.” Mark says, grabbing the bottle from Donghyuck before the boy could protest. He holds the bottle against the kitchen counter, pressing the cap against the edge and slamming down on it with his palm. When it pops open Mark grins, handing it back to Donghyuck who snatches it away.

“You act so proud of that stupid trick every time.” He grumbles before taking a sip.

“Because it’s cool!” Mark says defensively, almost forgetting why he came here in the first place.  _ Almost. _

“I’m sorry.” Mark says, because it’s Donghyuck and he has never been good at staying upset at him. “I shouldn’t have avoided you like that, it was a dick move.”

“Yeah it was Mark.” Donghyuck says sounding upset. “Why did you do it? Are you mad at me?”

“No… Yes? I don’t know.” Mark says. He takes a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts. He let himself feel everything he had been pushing down for so long. “I could never be mad at you Hyuckie. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to choose between me and Jaemin… So I guess I chose for you.” He finishes, echoing Yangyang’s words. Yangyang was strange but surprisingly wise. He wondered for a moment if the boy had planned this entire confrontation. 

“That’s stupid.” Donghyuck says frowning. “You’re stupid.”

“Yeah, I really am.” 

There’s a pause, and then Mark asks the question that’s been burning through him for a while. 

“How long have you liked Jaemin?”

Donghyuck looks guilty when he says, “A long time, maybe a year.”

“That’s…” Mark swallows. “Wow.”

“I’m sorry,” he says hurriedly, “I never wanted to get between you guys, I promise.” 

“It’s okay Hyuck. I get it, Jaemin is… He’s something special.”

“Yeah he is.” He agrees fondly.

“I kind of knew you guys liked each other.” Mark confesses, guilt crawling up his throat like bile. “It was just a feeling, but I... I knew and I still selfishly held onto Jaemin for so long because we’ve always been together, I was afraid I would be broken without him.”

“But you’re not!” Donghyuck stresses, “You’re doing so well Mark, you’ve never needed Jaemin to be whole.”

Mark leans forward to wrap his arms around Donghyuck’s shoulders. Engulfing him in a tight hug. The other boy is quick to respond, wrapping his own hands around Mark’s waist and burying his head into the crook of his neck. 

“I really missed you.” He says.

“I missed you too.” Mark replies, “I hope you’re happy with Jaemin.” 

Donghyuck pulls away, eyes bright with tears. “I really am. You deserve some happiness too.”

Mark thinks of Jeno. “I think I have it.”

***

When the two of them return to the living room it’s much more lively then when they left it. The awkward tension seemed to fizz out in their absence. They were playing twister, Jeno, Dejun, Lucas and Kunghang were tangled in a complicated, and frankly compromising, position. Renjun read out the moves while Yangyang and Jaemin tried to sabotage the other four, tickling Jeno and blowing into Kunghang’s ear. Mark didn’t know who allowed Yangyang and Jaemin to form an alliance but the whole group was about to suffer for it. Donghyuck shoots Mark a smirk before running over to the group, he kicks one of Lucas’ legs, pushing him off balance and making him push the other three over. They fall into an ungraceful dogpile, poor Dejun at the very bottom. They all burst into laughter, Mark included. He wishes he didn’t wait so long to introduce Jeno, Yangyang and Renjun to his other friends. He liked it so much better with all of them together like this. 

After packing up the twister, the group naturally splits off into smaller groups, talking over each other and jumping conversations. Yangyang and Dejun sit on the floor playing Mario Kart, occasionally he would kick Dejun, trying to throw him off. Lucas, Kunghang and Jeno were on the couch, chatting animatedly with each other. It warmed Mark’s heart to see Jeno get along with his friends. Like he belonged there, with his legs draped over Lucas’ lap while he talked to Kunghang about some show on netflix. Jaemin and Donghyuck were in their own little word, as they usually were. Mark goes to sit next to Renjun, who is keeping a slight distance from the rest of the group and very obviously sulking. 

“You good?” Mark asks, squishing next to Renjun on the single couch. The boy groans when Mark puts half his weight on him.

“Just dandy.” Renjun bites out, eyes never leaving Yangyang and Dejun. Renjun was so glaringly obvious, Mark has no idea how Yangyang hasn’t picked it up by now.

“Jeno didn’t want me to tell you this.” Mark says, going for a casual tone. “But he thinks Yangyang only pretends to like Dejun to make you jealous.”

Renjun whips his head around to look at Mark, squinting at him like he didn’t believe it. “Well it’s not working because I’m not jealous.” He claims.

Mark gives him a look.

“Okay fine maybe a little bit.” Renjun spits out like it’s the worst thing he could say. “He knows just how to get under my skin, I hate him.” 

“No you don’t.” Mark says, a little bit amused, there was nothing more entertaining than watching the mess that was Renjun and Yangyang.

“No I don’t” Renjun agrees sighing. “It’s bad Mark, like really bad.” He says seriously, he looks around the room once and then back at Mark, dropping his voice to a panicked whisper. “You know I actually  _ drew  _ him last night? From memory! I wasn’t looking at a photo or anything! It’s so terrible.”

“It’s not terrible.” Mark insists. “It’s cute, you have feelings.”   
  


He shoots Mark a dirty look. He looks back at Yangyang who had won the game and was now doing a stupid celebratory dance. Renjun looks so fond. Mark could gag. He looks back at Mark, eyes desperate. 

“I don’t know how to tell him.” 

Mark shrugs, “Show him the drawing.”

“You say that like it’s easy.”

“Maybe it is.”

“If it’s so easy then do it yourself, confess to Jeno.” Renjun shoots back, catching Mark completely off guard. They watch as Jeno gets up from the couch, leaving the room with his phone against his ear. His pulse picks up at the very thought of confessing to Jeno. The piece of paper in Mark’s back pocket burns.

“Okay bet.” He says, standing up from the couch. 

***

The cold air forms goosebumps against Jeno’s skin, he huddles further into his leather jacket. He cradles his phone to his ear, listening as his mom talks into it. He hears the front door open and turns around, smiling at Mark as he walks out onto the porch. 

“Don’t worry mom, I’ll be safe, yeah Yangyang’s parents are home. See you later, goodnight.” He says before hanging up. Yangyang’s parents were out all weekend but she really didn’t need to know that.

“Everything okay?” Mark asks, his hands buried into his pockets, he seemed jittery.

“Yeah,” Jeno replies, “I just called my mom to tell her I’m sleeping over.” 

“Cool cool,” Mark says, “I should probably do the same.”

“Is that why you came out here?” Jeno asks.

“Um, no.” Mark says taking a step closer to Jeno.

“Oh okay.” 

Mark says nothing else. The air is buzzing all around them.

“So,” Jeno starts conversationally. Unable to handle the nervous energy that radiated from Mark. “You and Donghyuck made up then?”

He nods smiling softly, “You guys planned this right? There was never a house party.”

Jeno laughs, “Yeah dude, if you guys didn’t talk Yangyang planned to play seven minutes in heaven and shove the two of you in a closet together.”

Mark laughs along with him, “That would’ve been a disaster, if anyone needs to be shoved in a closet together it’s Yangyang and Renjun.”

“They’d either end up killing each other or making out. I don’t know which one is worse.” Jeno says, faking a shudder.

“I need to tell you something.” Mark blurts out, the buzzing stops. Jeno feels his hands shake, Mark used the same words he spoke in the kitchen a few days ago but this time it was more sudden. 

“What is it Mark?” Jeno asks, although he thinks he already knows. Heat buries over his goosebumps.

“Well I uh.. I think that,” He stutters out, “I…hm. I really,” He groans. “Fuck this.” 

He pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket, his hands shake as he opens it. Jeno was glad he wasn’t the only one who felt nervous.

**_i love you_ **

The paper reads, in Mark’s small, messy handwriting, the same one Jeno sees across his window almost every night before he goes to bed. There it was in writing. The confession Jeno had been waiting for. Mark loves Jeno. He reads the words over and over again, until he could feel them carved into his heart, imprisoned by his rib cage where he could never ever let them go. 

“You’re fucking joking.” He says out loud. 

Mark widens his eyes, hurt clouding his otherwise hopeful expression. Okay maybe that was the wrong thing to say on Jeno’s end. 

“No wait,” Jeno says before Mark could say anything, the poor boy was clearly bracing himself for the expected rejection.

Jeno reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out his own confession. Opening it up and showing Mark, like he had wanted to do since the night he wrote it. A confession he wanted to give for as long as he could remember.

“Oh…” Mark says. His face stretching slowly into a smile until it took over his whole face, he was beaming at Jeno, shining brightly with happiness. It’s what Jeno had always wanted, to see Mark happy. He just never thought he’d be the one making him happy. 

“Now what?” Mark asks.

Jeno laughs, he’s happy too, his cheeks hurt from smiling. 

Jeno steps closer to Mark and places a careful hand on his nape. “Be my boyfriend?” Jeno asks. 

Mark’s grin never fades, not when he nods, not when he says “Fuck yeah I’ll be your boyfriend.” And definitely not when he leans in to kiss Jeno. 

This time Jeno doesn’t pull away. He was tired of doing so. There was no longer a need for it. This is what he wanted, what he’s always wanted. 

Mark kisses the same way he does everything else. Carefully, like each move was calculated, like there was nothing else he’d rather be doing then kissing Jeno. And Jeno feels fire in his veins as he pulls Mark closer, kisses him deeper, moving his hands to Mark’s face so could softly caress his cheeks. Mark’s own hands were resting gently on Jeno’s sides. And here Jeno was, kissing the boy of his dreams outside his best friend's house. He giggles at the thought, breaking off the kiss. Mark smiles against Jeno’s own smile, their teeth bumping slightly. He moves to cup the boy's face in his hands.

“What are you laughing at?” He asks, his own voice giddy.

“I just never thought our first kiss would be on Yangyang’s porch. It’s not very romantic is it?” Jeno says.

Mark grins, he leans in to peck Jeno’s lips, and then kisses his nose, he leans up to kiss Jeno’s forehead softly. Jeno sighs in content. 

“Anywhere with you is romantic.” Mark says, looking way too proud of his comment.

“Ew,” Jeno groans, scrunching his face up, “You’re so greasy.”

Mark just grins and pulls him into another enchanting kiss. 

***

Jeno was laying on his stomach, pillow curled around his hands while he watched  _ American Horror Story _ on his laptop, his screen being the only source of lighting in his room. Kunhang had recommended the show to him, claiming that  _ only gays could appreciate it’s true art  _ and  _ I promise it’s not that scary.  _ Jeno decides that Kunhang was a filthy liar because he’s two episodes into the first season and he’s terrified for his life.

There’s a sudden crash by his window. Jeno yelps loudly, jumping in fear as his heart falls straight through his ass. He spins his head to confront the intruder, or demon, or ghost from his past life coming to get revenge. Instead he sees his boyfriend, tangled between his curtains, which he had clearly tripped over when trying to get into his room. 

“Mark what the fuck?” Jeno asks breathlessly, hand coming up to feel his rapidly beating heart. “You scared the shit out of me!” 

Mark laughs awkwardly, trying to free his legs from the curtains grasp. “My bad, I saw your window was open and wanted to surprise you.” 

Jeno gets up to help his useless boyfriend. ( _ His boyfriend!)  _ He turns on his lamp so the only lighting wasn’t the menacing red coming from his laptop screen. He walks over to Mark to untangle his curtains, if Mark ripped them Jeno would break up with him immediately, he picked out those curtains himself. “You know my door works perfectly fine, I could’ve snuck you in.”

“I know but windows are like  _ our thing.”  _ Mark says, taking Jeno’s hand and letting the boy pull him onto his feet. He smiles gratefully, “Hello angel,” He greets, pecking Jeno on the cheek.

“Hey stupid.” Jeno greets back, giggling at the offended look Mark gives him, he pulls the boy over to his bed because Mark has too many limbs and doesn’t know how to control them by himself.

Mark laughs when he sees what Jeno was watching. “No wonder you were so jumpy.” he comments, “What made you think it was a good idea to watch this alone in the dark?”

Jeno shrugs, gesturing towards the abandoned notebooks scattered across his desk, “I was procrastinating.” 

“Of course you were.” He replies.

He leans in to kiss Jeno properly, pressing his lips softly against Jeno’s own. They move against each other slowly, like water flowing through a lake, Jeno taking his time to memorise how Mark’s lips moved. He sighs into Mark’s mouth, allowing the other boy to deepen the kiss. Jeno leans back until he’s laying against his pillows, Mark hovers over him, both hands on either side of Jeno while he takes the boy apart piece by piece. Mark pulls away, moving to bury his head into the side of Jeno’s neck, his warm breath ghosting over Jeno’s skin.

“Mhmm missed you today.” Mark mumbles lazily into his skin. He shifts his weight so he was fully laying on Jeno making him groan at the sudden weight on his chest.

“I saw you at school,” Jeno says, bringing his hand up to comb it through Mark’s soft hair. 

“Yeah for like five minutes,” Mark whines, nosing along Jeno’s jaw. “School is so busy now I barely see you anymore.”

Jeno would’ve never imagined that Mark would be this clingy, but in no way was he complaining.

“Just a few more weeks,” Jeno says, “And then we’ll have the whole summer to ourselves.” 

Mark hums contently at Jeno’s words, paying more attention to kissing the side of Jeno’s neck instead. 

“I made you something,” He whispers after a few moments, right into Jeno’s ear. 

“You did?” Jeno asks, turning to look at Mark, and he could never grow tired of counting the constellations in his eyes. 

“Yeah,” Mark says pulling away, he sits up and grabs Jeno’s laptop. “Can I use this?” He asks even though he doesn’t need to. Jeno nods, holding himself up by his elbows to watch Mark curiously.

He closes Netflix and opens up Spotify, going to his own spotify page. “Another playlist?” Jeno asks, already feeling giddy by the thought of it. 

He looks at Jeno, “This one is more special,” He says, “It’s everything I feel about you.” He pushes the screen closer to Jeno.

The picture of the playlist was one they took on their first date, Jeno hugging Mark from the back, resting his head on his shoulder and smiling softly.

_ Carrying the boy you love down an empty street as the sun rises; A playlist by Mark Lee.  _

**Author's Note:**

> THANK U SO MUCH FOR READING!!! 
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/smartlcve) all i do is cry abt markno


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